One time I went out with my best friend, her boyfriend and some friends of theirs. I met a gorgeous guy (D) there. After ten minutes he was saying that he likes me and after a few more he was telling me he is gonna marry me. He was so cool and he wanted to make out with me, but I didn't want that because my best friend Rene was telling me to do it. It was so stupid. Later we handcuffed ourselves and walked trough the city center like that. People were staring at us but it was fun.
Later we went in a bar and hang out for a while. At one moment he and I agreed to go to the bathroom to find some friends. When we got there we started making out. He is an amazing kisser. I couldn't get enough of him. But when our friends came out of the bathroom we went back with them. We hang out some more, and the two of us went back to the bathroom. This time we went in and started making out again and we just couldn't stop. He was holding me against the wall and he wanted to know if I had condoms? I didn't have them, but he did and I turned around and he started fucking me from behind. He came pretty quickly, and I was very disappointed. He asked if I like one night stands. I said yes, but he didn't like my answer. That was a bit of a shock, considering what we did...
Anyways, we went back to our friends and drank some beer and just chilled. One other guy was flirting with me the whole night and I just ignored him but he wasn't annoying or something like that. He guessed why I wasn't happy without me saying a word about it. He wanted to buy us some more beer and we went to the bar. When we got there he kissed me. It was OK. I just let him do what he wanted because I was so disappointed with D.
Later everybody went outside and I found out that my best friend left me there. I was so angry. She didn't even try to find me. And then I saw D with some blond chick. Then I became furious. I wanted to be with him, like in a relationship but I was stupid and missed my chance. At the end of the night some guy was supposed to drive us home. So I ended up on the back seat of a car with D. All four of us talked a bit and then it was time for D to go. I got out of the car so that he can come out and he shut the door so that we can talk a bit. He said he was sorry because he doesn't want just a one night stand and he said it was the first time for him with me. I wanted to jump on him tell him that I want to be with him but I just said that I've been trough some pretty shitty stuff and that's why I did it and I said that it was the third time for me. He just said that he had some pretty awful time in his life but he still wasn't up for it. Then he said see ya and I got in the car and we left.
Later we went in a bar and hang out for a while. At one moment he and I agreed to go to the bathroom to find some friends. When we got there we started making out. He is an amazing kisser. I couldn't get enough of him. But when our friends came out of the bathroom we went back with them. We hang out some more, and the two of us went back to the bathroom. This time we went in and started making out again and we just couldn't stop. He was holding me against the wall and he wanted to know if I had condoms? I didn't have them, but he did and I turned around and he started fucking me from behind. He came pretty quickly, and I was very disappointed. He asked if I like one night stands. I said yes, but he didn't like my answer. That was a bit of a shock, considering what we did...
Anyways, we went back to our friends and drank some beer and just chilled. One other guy was flirting with me the whole night and I just ignored him but he wasn't annoying or something like that. He guessed why I wasn't happy without me saying a word about it. He wanted to buy us some more beer and we went to the bar. When we got there he kissed me. It was OK. I just let him do what he wanted because I was so disappointed with D.
Later everybody went outside and I found out that my best friend left me there. I was so angry. She didn't even try to find me. And then I saw D with some blond chick. Then I became furious. I wanted to be with him, like in a relationship but I was stupid and missed my chance. At the end of the night some guy was supposed to drive us home. So I ended up on the back seat of a car with D. All four of us talked a bit and then it was time for D to go. I got out of the car so that he can come out and he shut the door so that we can talk a bit. He said he was sorry because he doesn't want just a one night stand and he said it was the first time for him with me. I wanted to jump on him tell him that I want to be with him but I just said that I've been trough some pretty shitty stuff and that's why I did it and I said that it was the third time for me. He just said that he had some pretty awful time in his life but he still wasn't up for it. Then he said see ya and I got in the car and we left.
I really have no idea what I was thinking that night. But it was that night which was followed with some other moments in my life that showed me what I really want. And all I want is to love and be loved. To have someone care for me and be there when I need him, and to be there for someone who need me. Now I'm done with all those one night stands, friends with benefits stuff and all that. All I need right now is a guy that I like. I hope I'll find him soon.
Peace and out.
from everything you've written, it seems that you actually like adventures, whatever they bring with them.
ReplyDeleteThese kinds of things are very... specific. And you should think before you act.
I don't like having regrets for something I haven't done, so I turn my brain off and do things without thinking. Most of the time it turns out great...
ReplyDeleteQuote: "Most of the time it turns out great... "
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like you rely on luck a little too much.
How will you feel when it doesn't turn out great?
It doesn't seem like you turned your brain off - there are a lot of "feelings" and conclusions written in the post, and that definitely requires some thought.
I think about it later... Sometimes I even tend to over think things after they already happened.
ReplyDelete*I thought about it later
ReplyDeleteInteresting. That's not a good philosophy, but alas, many people tend to do just that.
ReplyDeleteActually it depends on what kind of situation you're at the moment.
Sometimes the mind just drags you away from what you want... (: